The Zen Peace in Your Mind (Photo credit: Stuck in Customs)

You deserve zen, slow your life down a bit and get into the zone.

Zen is the practice of experiencing a calm peacefulness.

A Zen Zone is your mental space where you are flowing with an inner consciousness that is not interrupted with physical noise or corrosive thoughts.

You are in the moment, feeling your inner breath. You are euphoric, rhythmic, and light connected.

A Zen Zone allows you to release stress, calm worry, disperse despair so that your mind is at ease.

Being in a Zen zone benefits your body, mind and soul. You sense a divine healing elixir which mends and strengthens you from the core.

Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass,
it’s about learning to dance in the rain.
―Vivian Greene

Tap your toes, lift your feet, dance in the sunshine or rain.

You are alive, feeling the beat of your heart, hearing the sound of your breath, and seeing the rays of discovery all around you. You can dance, you can feel, you can see. You can Zen! It does not matter a bit what the external sensations are, you can capture your Zen Zone anytime, anywhere.  The four pivotal steps to a Zen Zone experience are:

Zen in 4 easy steps.

1. Create quiet. The intention here is to quiet your life for a few, maybe 10, minutes. Unplug-silence the telephones, move away from the computers or tablets, turn off the television and begin by taking 9 deep breaths. Inhale and exhale for nine complete cycles.
2. Next, start tapping using a cupped hand. Begin with a soft touch at the wrist and move all the way up your arm to the shoulder and end at your heart. Reverse and tap back to your wrist and then do the same soft tapping sequence on the opposite side. Tapping stimulates meridian nerves and situates calmness. Do this three full times using both sides of the upper body.
3. Again center your mind and begin to look to your right. Turn your shoulders and extend to look over your right shoulder inviting the appearance of possibility. Now, do the same mental and physical exercise by looking over your left shoulder. See newness, see resolution, intensely see the infinite. Do this two times for each side.
4. Extend your left arm and punch away negativity and then open your palm and draw in opportunity. Extend your right arm, punch away negativity and open your right palm and draw in opportunity.  Do this five times each side. Feel the energy as you punch out and then draw in opportunity with your open-hand. Feel limitless, sense your power.

Balance yourself.

Quietly remind yourself that there are no limits and that there are no unsolvable problems. Mouth a mantra and gradually balance yourself again as you gradually re-enter the physical earth space you retreated from in your Zen Zone. Continue to breathe love, joy and inner peace, with each breath.  Tell yourself: “I love you.”

Love you, zone into your Zen. Affirm your power and live your Zen.

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Audience (Photo credit: thinkmedialabs)

How did you learn to speak so well?

This is the question I get asked most after I finish a presentation. My answer is with power. Power is a verb. I gained public speaking power after I became a charter member of the Dawn-Breakers Toastmasters Club. Even though I had spoken in front of audiences before, very few people haven’t, I corralled my vocal power by taking this active step to learn the mechanics of better communication.

Speaking with power is earned. As a speaker, you must work to earn the power of the platform.

Here are seven public speaking power tips:

1. Plan your presentation or speech. Know what you want to say. The best way to plan your speech is to write it down. Begin with a free-flow of what you want your audience to learn; diagram it out in a logical sequence. Once your thoughts are in order, write the entire presentation/speech down and then read it aloud.
2. Practice, pay attention to your vocal delivery. At this point you are saying what you wrote out loud. Some practice in front of a mirror, I do not. Pay attention to your delivery – make a note to indicate where you are making a pause. Underline the points you want to emphasize. Listen to your voice tone. Underscore where you need to pace yourself.
3. Presence, presence, presence. The time has arrived for you to speak to an audience. You have planned your presentation and practiced until you are dry-mouthed. Now, all you need to remember is to be present. Seriously. Presence, presence, presence is the mantra for public speaking power. This means that you are in the moment, present with your authentic presence. Be real, that’s what audiences adore. Even though you may be nervous, you can overcome that with a delightful, engaging presence. People are there to hear you, not judge you. Be yourself!
4. Punch them.  Speaking is not a drab recitation of what you wrote. No one in the audience wants to see or hear you read from a paper. Instead, punch them with emotion, stories, gestures, antidotes, clean humor practical tips, and a call-to-action. Remember, you have practiced your speech enough at this point to talk from your soul – do that. Enliven what you have practiced, even if it is a technical talk, by adding audience punches which excite, engage and entertain them. Be at ease.
5. Power your voice. Brevity is the voice of power. The main purpose of planning your speech is to say what you mean and mean what you say. Speak clearly, enunciate well, and talk in a loud enough conversational tone. Real speaking power is when you concisely say what you mean. Precision is endearing. Keep on point, talk precisely about what you want the audience to learn. Stick to the point and audiences will stick with you.
6. Personalize the speech. Even if you do not know anyone in the audience, make what you are saying personal. One way to do that is to get to the room early and introduce yourself to people and then use their first name when you are making a point. Another way to personalize is to add tidbits about the company if it is a corporate presentation. Lastly, you personalize when you conclude smoothly and properly. Wrap up your presentation with an enthusiastic summary of your learning points and sit down.
7. Write your introduction. Submit your introduction, which relates to your topic, in advance rather than rely on a person to fittingly set-up your speech for you.

Communicators relate to others. The essence of public speaking power is communicating and relating.

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Have you ever made a mistake?

Do you regret some mistake you’ve made? Of course. If you are breathing and not in denial, regardless of how long you have lived you have made mistakes and assuredly you have regrets about some of them. Threats to your confidence come and go, but you can change a threat into a treat! Find opportunity

Mistakes happen! That’s right, mistakes are a human frailty which are a consequence of the mind’s ability to make choices.  Humans are the only species on earth who have the capacity of thought and reason. Some choices are on target and others lead to mistakes. But, there are teaching moments and learning points even when you make a mistake. Don’t fret!

What you can do about it?

1. Remind yourself that mistakes happen. Don’t beat yourself up and create negative energy around a happenstance mistake. Lingering in the fear of making a mistake is actually an act of self sabotage.
2. Consider the mistake to be a right mistake. It could be a blessing in disguise.  The change precipitated by that choice could actually guide you to alternate options you would never have considered.  It’s quite possible for your new open-eyed view to lead you to an experience which is more beneficial; this regularly happens.
3. Think about it. A right mistake usually prompts introspection. As is written in Climb Every Obstacle: Eliminate Your Limits!, mistakes magnify learning. If you take the time to graciously learn from your mistake, rather than ignoring it or being angry about it, you will begin to see its learning value.

Dig deep into the mistake.

BEWARE: If you are making mistakes that throw off your focus, skew your self-worth, damage another person, or create chaos – then what you are doing is probably not a mistake. Such behaviorism indicates fear. They even point to a deep sense of unworthiness.

Oprah columnist Martha Beck advises to be still in those moments. She says,“If we’re still enough to hear our own inner voices at this subtle, almost silent level, we tend to choose the course through life that feels most blessed and least traumatic.” Work that ego-centered pain out. Dig in, get an answer to the question why did this happen.

HALT. Stop before the distress starts. It’s unnecessary to beat yourself up. Instead, do something that diverts harmful emotions instantly. Don’t allow that pesky inner voice of past pain to ruin your true presence of goodness and goodwill.

Mistakes are a part of success. For one thing, they often improve your problem-solving skills. Those who avoid mistakes ultimately avoid success.

“The greatest mistake you can make is to be continuously fearing that you will make one.” ~Elbert Hubbard

Every right mistake has a right solution.

Confidence (Photo credit: wherefishsing)

Hold your head high.

Look into the eyes of the person you are talking to. Radiate confidence, you are strong enough to be bold.  Bold confidence allows you to feel wonderfully lively, radiant and vibrant. Because when you radiate confidence, you are likely to attract a different type of attention.

You may find that you magnify an assurance which is noticeable.  Not only should others take notice, so should you. Pay attention to the different responses you get when you radiate confidence. More smiles, more flirts, more offers of support and assistance. Your high energy mood can make you feel like a star.

Stand erect.

Square your shoulders. Tighten your tummy. Project out to the world that you are a confident person.  When you radiate confidence, it is natural to attract attention.  Bask in the moment.

“You must break out of your current comfort zone and become comfortable with the unfamiliar.  Start smashing through those emotional barriers.  Move forward.  Life doesn’t magically give you what you want in your mind; it gives you what you insist upon with your actions.” ~Mark Hack

Even if you are not entirely sure of yourself or very comfortable with this new radiant, confident persona, do it anyway.  Affirm your qualities.  Say out loud: I am radiantly confident. Speak this affirmation right now with fervor and conviction. Immediately feel how different you are once you remind yourself of your true value.

Believe in yourself.

You are confident. You are radiant. You are impressive.  Let the aura of radiant confidence permeate.  Avoid any negative self-talk. Speak confidently, attract the life you deserve. Show others that you adore who you are.

Radiant confidence allows you to act decisively. That’s right, you know who you are and what you intend to accomplish.  When others notice that you are resolute, the universe begins to magnetize into existence exactly what you want provided that you maintain confidence and pinpoint focus and are ready to work diligently to accomplish those aims.

Ambition is very good, so is confidence. The combination of the two attributes does not have to equate to arrogance. There is a huge difference. Arrogance presents itself as haughty, self-importance. But, confidence shows up as an inner knowing that is gracious.

Be confident.

Confidence begets radiance. You are allowed to shine. You must shine; the light of confidence is already inside of you. Let it out, glow.  Choose to be happy today, right now. Don’t wait to share your radiance. Be confidently assured that your time to shine is right now.

Lift yourself up to cloud nine.

Life is flying by; you will only get to the top clouds in life if you decide to be more radiant than sour. Discouragement, bad news, anguish, doubt grounds you if you choose to be bound to it. Soar, lift yourself above negativity. Get to cloud nine.

Confidence depends on the quality of your thoughts. Think happiness. Be radiant. Be a confident you.

Share your confidence –comment below. Tell others what you do to sustain your confidence. Let’s talk about radiance – how do you exhibit radiance?

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The article, Three Inspirations for Happiness, linked below is a simple, written by Ahmed Mostafa offers a refreshing method to achieve sustainable happiness.

Three Inspirations for Happiness.

(Photo courtesy of Mark Weiss/Corbis)

Success is a personal statement that one writes for his or her own life.   Only you can write your success statement, why not begin viewing success the write way?

Writing is one common denominator among those who share the prize of success. Successful people write. Documenting your thoughts and feelings helps you to bring them into a focus point so that you can execute them. Henriette Klauser in Write It Down, Make It Happen proposes writing to activate the RAS (Reticular Activation System) in your brain , the brain control center which sorts and evaluates data.

Writing about your success activates the RAS in your brain stem. Everybody has a RAS, actively use yours by writing your goals to target success.  RAS activation does not require convoluted contortions or regimented procedures. Writing for success should be simple, liberating.

Steps to Success Writing

• Freeform, free flow.  Let your ideas germinate, let your mind flow. Just ramble. Write whatever thoughts come to mind.  Just doddle along. Otherwise, you may write about a specific situation or problem but don’t try to limit what comes to mind. At this point you are not looking for a solution, you are problem-solving in the abstract.
• Make a list. Put on paper a column of what could or could not happen. Pros and cons – nothing more. Write your list to exhaustion, think of possibilities and probabilities or other options and then dig deeper to think of more. Written lists are an extremely useful problem-solving tool. Write your list, resolve the dilemma.
• Write for an ending.  Success writing can bring closure. Whether you doddle, sketch or write longhand, you are writing to stretch your imagination. Take yourself to that often buried outcome that you have sequestered, usually due to fear that it is too daunting, improbable, and write the ending. Make your goal, no matter how deeply recessed, personal and alive by writing about it and what the achievement end will be.
• Generate confidence. Success writing does not depend upon brawn or brain. What you are authoring as the coveted writer is for you. At this point you are acknowledging the premise and promise of your ideas; you are beginning to believe with assured confidence that success according to your connotation is not optional. When you write, you generate what it takes to make things happen.

The act of writing, instead of brain volleyball, is powerful. Committing your ideas to paper supersedes thinking or even talking about them. Writing documents what’s in your psyche and pushes you toward outward success that only you can imprint.

Solve problems, organize your thoughts, and document your goals using pen and paper. Write to resolve fears, build confidence, deal with grief, or sort out solutions. Whatever, just write.

Writing is cathartic; words on paper can guide your success.

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Stress happens.

However, you do not have to allow stressful situations to implode your peace of mind. You can manage stress and the events that may precipitate stress for you which are personal to your personality. There are definite coping strategies which help you to live a life stress-free.

Life is not meant to be a stress rehearsal.

Fill your life with harmonious, healthy thoughts and experiences. Make a mantra for your life which banishes stress. One that I use is simply: love, joy, and peace. 

Effort is taken every day to not allow anything or anyone to violate the love, joy and peace that is integral to my well-being.

Actually, one’s well-being is intrinsic to the well-being of others too. When you feel good, you share good and that good which then expands to heal the world. Life is bestowed upon everyone; make sure you inculcate what is good so that you expose good to others. Good begets good. Good can banish stress

Five Secrets to a Stress-Free Life:

1. Pay attention. Really listen to and hear your feelings. Release stress by tuning your mind to what you are feeling right now. The more attentive you are to your true feelings, the faster you recognize negative energy and can stop stress triggers from invading your intrinsic peace.
2. Be still. Activity is over-valued. Stop and smell the evergreens, slow down and notice the beauty around you. Listen to the bees or watch a butterfly graciously wing its flight. Meditate on the things that are joyous and peaceful. Draw a Mandela or walk a labyrinth. Slow your pace, seek tranquility.
3. Connect deep. Connect with others, go beyond polite conversation and build a deep association with someone in your life. You will likely find that blending your life with another in a non-sexual friendship improves your outlook and resolves the stress inducing emptiness of isolation.
4. Get involved. Make a life investment in something or someone. Fight apathy. Instead of accepting a problem as unsolvable, seek a solution. Become a one person drummer, others will gain courage from your passionate conviction and soon a change movement will gain momentum.
5. Love life. The practice of loving life, in spite of turmoil, minimizes stress. Bless your stress with omniscient love, ever-present, ever-lasting. Devote the majority of your energy to loving life, feel the eruption of gratitude. Give thanks, give love. Love your life!

Keep it simple.

Simplify your emotions so that your soul can breathe. Inhale deep breaths of calm, restfulness, kindness and joy.  Exhale harshness and seek balance, tenderness and gentle grace. Stress is a learned response to events or situations that alarm your inner good. Go with the flow, walk along with the soothing waves in your life. Restore relaxation, take it slow and easy. Live an intentional stress-free life.

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(found at http://www.positivetraining.com.au)

Life balance experts cite five areas to achieve harmony: finances/career, spirituality/self care, relationships, health, and  fun/recreation.

Achieving harmony in your life is a process – a five step process we will explore together.  The first step is to examine your finances. You need to know where your money is, what it is used for, and how you spend money. “Debt is dumb,” says in your face financial guru Dave Ramsey.  He adds, “You are where you are right now financially as a sum total of the decisions you’ve made to this point.” But, don’t despair. Right now you are in a perfect position to make a financial change for the better.  Changing the way you think about money and how you spend money is the yellow brick road to harmonic wealth.

Financial Planning 101 – Achieving Harmony Step 1:

Reflect. Think about it, reflect. Ask what led you to make those mistakes in the first place. Was it job loss, divorce, impulsive spending? Make sure you know and understand what pulled you out of life balance so you don’t repeat those mistakes.

Get organized. Organize your bills and debts. Create a place to keep incoming bills. Pay your bills. Avoid late fees-make sure you send your check early so that it gets to the payer on time. Also it is a best practice to write down payments, check numbers and date sent so you will have a record in case a payment goes unrecorded. Put all payments in your finance ledger and balance that ledger against what payments are outstanding each and every month.

Plan. Tackle your debt!  You created the debt, now plan. Take time to establish a plan to pay off debts. Without an debt freedom action plan you darken your life. You want harmony, so be disciplined and plan harmonic wealth. Think about what you need to do here… figure out the most important debt to be paid off first, generate more income, spend less and save more money. That’s the simple formula for achieving harmony in your finances.  Set the plan and stick to it.

Save. You must save more than you spend. This is the truth!  Worrying about how you are going to pay your bills every month is misery. The best way to handle your financial life is to save.

Now is a perfect time to  is a time restore your financial balance, achieve harmony.

Reading List:

Total Money Makeover, Dave Ramsey

Your Life or Your Money: 9 Steps to Transforming Your Relationship with Money, Vicki Robin

Low Fee Socially Responsible Investing: Investing in your worldview on your terms, Tom Nowak

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Conflict does not have to become a Hatfield and McCoy episode. You do not have to live with conflict, letting its flares ruin your relationships until the day you die. While conflict may not be avoidable all of the time, there are civil ways to resolve misunderstandings that preserve the relationship, your health and  your integrity.

5 Steps to Conflict Resolution:

1. Acknowledge there is a conflict. It’s not good to suppress the feeling that erupt after a presumed infraction, instead pay attention to the feeling rather than internalize the emotion. Go inside, get to your heart/feeling center and ask yourself why does this trigger a reaction in me? Check in with what you are feeling, acknowledge the feelings. Stay away from blame, anger, self-doubt or feelings of unworthiness (usually the result of unexpressed feelings).

                        “Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict.” ~William Ellery Channing

2. Identify the “real” conflict. There is a reason for the discord, identify why it exists.  Once you have gone within yourself to self-check your feelings, it is time to    get real. The next step is to hone in on what happened. Review the conversation or exchange-look for where things broke down and make an earnest attempt to identify the source of the conflict. It could be an integrity issue, a snub, a flaw, a mental illness. Whatever, the range of possibilities is wide. The point is to objectively pinpoint, as best as you can, what may be the real reason for the conflict.

“There are three principles in a man’s being and life, the principle of thought, the principle of speech, and the principle of action. The origin of all conflict between me and my fellow-men is that I do not say what I mean and I don’t do what I say. “  ~Martin Buber

      3. It’s time to talk. Seek out the other person. Consult. Open up, share how you feel and then hear their point of view. This is where you seek to understand each other. Stay away from volatile, inflammatory accusations which escalate conflict. Talk in a hearing tone, speak with healing words, understand with an empathetic heart.

“Peace is not the absence of conflict but the presence of creative alternatives for responding to conflict – alternatives to passive or aggressive responses, alternatives to violence.” ~Dorothy Thompson

4. Work together to resolve the conflict.  Keep a good attitude. Throw blame, heated recriminations out of the window. Stay in the now, rather than re-hash old wounds, and hear each other; find out what each person needs to resolve the issue. There are reasons why “vexed” feelings are there, tell the truth, share your feelings with a positive attitude, and then honestly do what is necessary to resolve the conflict.

“Whenever you’re in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.” ~William James

       5. Take responsibility to maintain the solution. Own the outcome, do this for yourself. Take ownership of your feelings and release any lingering residuals that often accompany conflict. Take responsibility not only for your feelings but also take responsibility to honor the solution and then let the old conflict go. Sine die. It is done and over with.

“Conflict cannot survive without your participation.” ~Wayne Dyer

 Conflict is solvable.  Resolution is the agreement.  Children instinctively know how to handle conflict, go to your inner child and model love.

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