BOSS Happiness in Your Life

24 Apr
  1. Plan ahead.  Keep pantry staples list, keep gas tank at least ½ full, make copies of keys. Check it off.
  2. Say NO!  Don’t over schedule your time with extra events, projects, or invitations.
  3. Get up fifteen minutes earlier and/or go to bed fifteen minutes earlier.  Give yourself a big hug.
  4. Don’t procrastinate.  Do it NOW! Schedule projects, events, vacations, or even dinners ahead of time.
  5. Prepare for the morning the night before.  Plan the first hour or two of the next day.
  6. Write it down!  Don’t rely on your memory.  Write each appointment on a calendar on in your PDA.
  7. Learn.  Take a magazine, inspirational book or tapes/CDs with you to use while you wait.
  8. Add $9.00. Buy an extra book of postage stamps.  Then your mail/bills won’t be delayed.
  9. Get a good night’s sleep or take a short power nap on the weekend.  20 minutes of real rest is divine.
  10. Ring, ring. Let the answering machine/message service take the call.  But promptly retrieve messages.
  11. Slow down!  It is permissible to stop and smell the roses, swing in the park, swim or relax.
  12. Simplify!  Enlarge your file 13 (garbage box) so that you keep the things that you only need.
  13. Give gifts.  Give away good items that you no longer need or want.  Someone else may treasure it.
  14. Make personal or family time a priority.  Build in some “me or us” time every day.
  15. Make one night a week family fun.  Do something exciting with a member of your family.
  16. Turn off the television/video games.  Tune into yourself and each other for real conversation.
  17. Adopt a hobby.  Paint, build, exercise, practice an instrument, or make crafts together.
  18. Schedule household assignments.  Create a simple reward system.  Create a checklist.
  19. Volunteer!  Research and commit to a volunteer project. Share your time and talent.
  20. Laugh, laugh, laugh!  Keep a jokes file or watch a funny movie.  Laughter is medicine for the soul.
  21. Stretch.  Take mini stretch breaks after long meetings or sits.  Stretch and breathe deep.
  22. Write weekly goals.  Look for gaps and over commitment.  Eliminate tension builders.
  23. Use email or voice mail reminders to yourself and others to cut out any stress.
  24. Enjoy a good meal or dessert or snack.  Don’t just rush.  Savor each flavor.
  25. Take breaks.  Do NOT work through lunch.  It is important to leave your desk.
  26. Look at your color choices.  If you see that your predominant color is neutral or black, add color!
  27. Delegate.  Choose responsible people, designate specific tasks, and let it go.  Don’t micro-manage.
  28. Journal.  Keep a journal.  You will be amazed at how much you achieved in a year.
  29. Be a friend.  Care about others and lean on them for comfort too.  Confidential sharing relieves stress.
  30. Vacation.  Plan relaxation days (bookend to a weekend) or plan a longer vacation to rest, relax, restore.
  31. Visualize.  See your success in exact, vivid detail.  Plan what success is and looks like ahead of time.
  32. Avoid negativity.  Negative people or situations should be avoided.  Maintain optimism.
  33. Worry less.  Don’t deny your concerns, but spend minimal time worrying.  Decide what must be done.
  34. Change.  If your routine is reflexive, you do the same things.  Change where you go or what you do.
  35. Be private.  Allow time every day for privacy, quite time or solitude to reflect on what’s important.
  36. Do the hardest first!  Get it out of the way so that you can pleasantly, leisurely enjoy the rest.
  37. Count.  Count to fifty (50) before you speak.  Pausing a few minutes before an outburst saves anxiety.
  38. Forgive.  Standardize your expectations of yourself and others.  Expecting perfection is stressful.
  39. Smile.  Be optimistic and project joy.  You will feel good and so will others around you.
  40. Gather loose change.  Count all of your coins and give yourself a treat.
  41. Say Thank You!  Express gratitude.  Appreciate and recognize the goodness in others.
  42. Make something.  Try origami; build a kite, ceramics, pottery.  Find a creative outlet.
  43. Dance.  Turn on the music.  Dance, step lively for a few minutes a day.
  44. Talk positive.  When your words are positive, encouraging others respond in kind.
  45. Sing.  Let the melody flow.  Even if it is only in the shower, add vocal rhythm to your day.
  46. Meditate.  Be still.  Listen to earth sounds, hear the birds chipper, connect with nature.
  47. Cry.  Release tension with a good cry.  Let it all out and let it go. Then, smile and move on.
  48. Try something new.  Candy-making, belly dancing, sign-language, fitness, weights, bike riding, skating.
  49. Take a bath. No quick shower. Fill the tub with warm, soothing water and chill. Add aromatherapy.
  50. Redlight.  While stopped at a red light, say to yourself, “I am happy” or “I am an achiever.”
  51. Take a class.  If you are challenged in areas of your life, take a class. Learn something different.
  52. Renew every day. BOSS or TOSS something in your life everyday and live anew.

 

 

Achieving Harmony: Step 1

5 Feb

Life balance experts cite five areas to achieve harmony: finances/career, spirituality/self care, relationships, health, and  fun/recreation.

Achieving harmony in your life is a process – a five step process we will explore together.  The first step is to examine your finances. You need to know where your money is, what it is used for, and how you spend money. “Debt is dumb,” says in your face financial guru Dave Ramsey.  He adds, “You are where you are right now financially as a sum total of the decisions you’ve made to this point.” But, don’t despair. Right now you are in a perfect position to make a financial change for the better.  Changing the way you think about money and how you spend money is the yellow brick road to harmonic wealth.

Financial Planning 101 – Achieving Harmony Step 1:

Reflect. Think about it, reflect. Ask what led you to make those mistakes in the first place. Was it job loss, divorce, impulsive spending? Make sure you know and understand what pulled you out of life balance so you don’t repeat those mistakes.

Get organized. Organize your bills and debts. Create a place to keep incoming bills. Pay your bills. Avoid late fees-make sure you send your check early so that it gets to the payer on time. Also it is a best practice to write down payments, check numbers and date sent so you will have a record in case a payment goes unrecorded. Put all payments in your finance ledger and balance that ledger against what payments are outstanding each and every month.

Plan. Tackle your debt!  You created the debt, now plan. Take time to establish a plan to pay off debts. Without an debt freedom action plan you darken your life. You want harmony, so be disciplined and plan harmonic wealth. Think about what you need to do here… figure out the most important debt to be paid off first, generate more income, spend less and save more money. That’s the simple formula for achieving harmony in your finances.  Set the plan and stick to it.

Save. You must save more than you spend. This is the truth!  Worrying about how you are going to pay your bills every month is misery. The best way to handle your financial life is to save.

Now is a perfect time to  is a time restore your financial balance, achieve harmony.

Reading List:

Total Money Makeover, Dave Ramsey

Your Life or Your Money: 9 Steps to Transforming Your Relationship with Money, Vicki Robin

Low Fee Socially Responsible Investing: Investing in your worldview on your terms, Tom Nowak

5 Steps to Conflict Resolution

1 Feb

Conflict is inevitable in any relationship. Over time, one person will misunderstand the other. Some conflicts are so small that overlooking the gaffe may be the best advice, but do not let the pain or anger over old misunderstandings pile up and become a full-blown argument because you failed to resolve the issue when it first happened.   Oftentimes, then a seemingly small incident becomes a tipping point where making up for “the old and the new” aggravations become an intractable grudge. “When you are in deep conflict about something, sometimes the most trivial thing can tip the scales.” ~Ethel Merman

Conflict does not have to become a Hatfield and McCoy episode. You do not have to live with conflict, letting its flares ruin your relationships until the day you die. While conflict may not be avoidable all of the time, there are civil ways to resolve misunderstandings that preserve the relationship, your health and  your integrity.

5 Steps to Conflict Resolution:

  1. Acknowledge there is a conflict. It’s not good to suppress the feeling that erupt after a presumed infraction, instead pay attention to the feeling rather than internalize the emotion. Go inside, get to your heart/feeling center and ask yourself why does this trigger a reaction in me? Check in with what you are feeling, acknowledge the feelings. Stay away from blame, anger, self-doubt or feelings of unworthiness (usually the result of unexpressed feelings).

                        “Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict.” ~William Ellery Channing

2. Identify the “real” conflict. There is a reason for the discord, identify why it exists.  Once you have gone within yourself to self-check your feelings, it is time to    get real. The next step is to hone in on what happened. Review the conversation or exchange-look for where things broke down and make an earnest attempt to identify the source of the conflict. It could be an integrity issue, a snub, a flaw, a mental illness. Whatever, the range of possibilities is wide. The point is to objectively pinpoint, as best as you can, what may be the real reason for the conflict.

“There are three principles in a man’s being and life, the principle of thought, the principle of speech, and the principle of action. The origin of all conflict between me and my fellow-men is that I do not say what I mean and I don’t do what I say. “  ~Martin Buber

      3. It’s time to talk. Seek out the other person. Consult. Open up, share how you feel and then hear their point of view. This is where you seek to understand each other. Stay away from volatile, inflammatory accusations which escalate conflict. Talk in a hearing tone, speak with healing words, understand with an empathetic heart.

Peace is not the absence of conflict but the presence of creative alternatives for responding to conflict – alternatives to passive or aggressive responses, alternatives to violence.” ~Dorothy Thompson

4. Work together to resolve the conflict.  Keep a good attitude. Throw blame, heated recriminations out of the window. Stay in the now, rather than re-hash old wounds, and hear each other; find out what each person needs to resolve the issue. There are reasons why “vexed” feelings are there, tell the truth, share your feelings with a positive attitude, and then honestly do what is necessary to resolve the conflict.

“Whenever you’re in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.” ~William James

       5. Take responsibility to maintain the solution. Own the outcome, do this for yourself. Take ownership of your feelings and release any lingering residuals that often accompany conflict. Take responsibility not only for your feelings but also take responsibility to honor the solution and then let the old conflict go. Sine die. It is done and over with.

“Conflict cannot survive without your participation.” ~Wayne Dyer

 Conflict is solvable.  Resolution is the agreement.  Children instinctively know how to handle conflict, go to your inner child and model love.

Treasure Map What You Want in 2013

9 Jan
Vision Board, Check Emotional Baggage

Vision Board, Check Emotional Baggage (Photo credit: deb roby)

Oprah Winfrey popularized the concept of a “Treasure Map.”

She devoted an entire hour of The Oprah Winfrey Show to the topic several years ago and the concept of creating a visual board of what you want skyrocketed. Although treasure mapping was not a new concept at the time, the practice exploded. Hoards of women and men and children around the globe began to create a visual collage of their goals for the future.

The results reported were astounding. Wave after wave of “treasure mappers” began recording achievement success, all attributed to their design a visual reminder of  what they wanted to accomplish in their life. Creating a treasure map is a very simple but effective idea: It involves creating a physical representation or collage of what you want to achieve that acts as a constant visual reminder and representation of your goals. Seeing daily the treasure map that you created intensifies the effects of visualization, which seals your intentions on your subconscious mind to motivate and encourage you towards achieving those goals.

Visualizing Goals on Paper.

A treasure map collage is a powerful goal attainment technique.  The reason it can be effective is that you identify exactly what you want for your life.  Treasure mapping is a creative image that you put on paper that shows what you desire and intend to work towards for a span of time.  Barbara  Laport has been using and teaching the process of goal design on collage, or treasure mapping, for more than twenty years.  She says, in her book Goal Achievement through Treasure Mapping, that this is one way to link vision with reality.

Treasure mapping is an effective goal design process.  It involves creating a physical, visual representation of your goals. You get to create this collage, which may be a work of art or a crude form of motivation for achievement.  Some treasure mappers are design conscious and some aren’t. The main point is not to spend too much energy on “beauty.” Rather spend your creative juice on the “bounty” of what you intend to achieve.

Key Treasure Mapping Step:

First of all, begin creating your treasure map when you are ready. You can create a treasure map anytime. It does not have to be completed New Year’s Day, although many use that date as a marker for their annual treasure map ritual. It’s up to you.  Start designing your goal collage when you are ready to craft your creative visual of your financial, personal, professional or material goals. That is when you begin.

  • The most important first step in creating your treasure map is to clearly know what you want to achieve. Your goals must be clarified at the beginning of the process.   Goal setting is the first pivot step in the process.
  • Next, you can begin to visualize what you want to happen once you have achieved your goals.

It is really that simple – know the goal(s) you want to achieve and then visualize the outcome. Dig into the details by asking questions about each goal: What do I want? What will I get when I achieve my goal? How does getting what I want feel? How will I celebrate?  Who will I be when this goal is attained? Catherine Ponder says the visualization of what you want to achieve is critical; she adds “this is when you open your mind to receive.”

Open your mind to receive

Think grandly, don’t minimize or settle for less than the boundless expanse of your goal.  Then, creatively design your goals and what you clearly visualize on paper. Keep in mind here, as you begin to set-up your treasure map vision board, to have order.  Make your vision board treasure map a clear road  map to success, not a chaotic mess of confusion. Clear design and clear outcome visualization make a huge difference.

You may look for inspiration in magazines or other print or online images that support the goal you want to achieve. For instance, if you have a goal of a vacation to Costa Rica, find pictures of scenery in Costa Rica. Your pictures must clearly represent that specific goal and not some vague longing. Another example might be a career or professional goal, then you need find exact pictures and motivational words that relate to your goal. If you want money, create a financial goal picture that clearly specifies the amount of money you want. The purpose is to see yourself there, to definitely see yourself achieving exactly what you want.

A treasure map captures your goal in vivid picture form on paper.   What you create will become your creative visualization of achievement.

Finish your treasure map vision board.

This may seem trivial, but often many fail to complete assignments that move them closer to their goal and thereby sabotage their ultimate achievement.  Keep working, clarify each goal and then add visual effects that inspire and  motivate your achievement. You may also add milestone markers along the way, depending on how sophisticated you want to get.

Get it done, create your goal intention masterpiece. You are the Picasso of your goals. Keep in mind, too, that if you later find an image that better captures your goal, add it in or replace a weaker image. It is perfectly fine to refine your treasure map throughout the year.

Treasure Map placement

Place your treasure map vision board in a prominent place. It is your reminder of the goals you want to achieve. Some achievers place their vision board on the refrigerator, others tape their treasure map on the bathroom mirror or place it in front of a mirror. You may wish to put your treasure map on your bedroom door. You make the choice of where you want to hang or place your treasure map; just make sure you see it every day as a prominent reminder of your goals for 2013.

Happy Treasure Mapping – collage your dreams!

12 Gifts for You

3 Dec

As you absorb the active spirit of giving, don’t forget to give to your inner self. It is important to pause and add your name to the gift list. Gifts oftentimes bestow happiness, especially when genuine thoughtfulness is attached to it. Then, it is not the gift or the cost of the item but the care and kindness that is associated with it.

Make it a practice and often used priority in your life to give a gift to yourself.

“Each day provides its own gifts.” ~Marcus Aurelius

12 Gifts for You:

1. Joy – greet every experience with joy. The feelings of appreciation, gratitude and acquiesce, regardless of the circumstance, are invigorating life learning moments. Joy gives you wings.

2. Affirmation – say “yes” to life. Affirm your ability to direct your life. You are the captain of your life ship; guide yourself to whatever you desire. Claim your gifts; the universe is saturated with gems of inestimable value that are just for you.

3. Confirmation – verifications are right in front of your face when you are thinking about and doing the right thing. The available gift is for you to recognize the confirmations that automatically follow right action.

4. Understanding – in all of your giving, get the gift of understanding. Kindness is the bedrock of understanding. Stand on the principled rock of kind understanding, people will listen.

5. Excellence – doing your best, making excellence your signature, is a legacy gift. The imprint mark of excellence that is associated with your life is an eternal evidence of your life.

6. Confidence – go boldly in the direction you have chosen. Respect your choice(s) to the fullest. Find your way by this spotlight and “see the dawn before the rest of the world,” says Oscar Wilde.

7. Exploration – the world awaits your discovery. The excitement and enlightenment that accompanies exploration are priceless gifts.

8. Silence – quiet introspection causes the world to listen. Allow the gift of silence to guide your ultimate happiness and success. Calm mindfulness is a balm.

9. Openness – there are lessons to learn every day. Be open to teachable moments, these innocent gifts guide you closer to source.

10. Compassion – first never do harm. Gentle compassion to you is a gift that gives premium, perpetual joy. Give yourself the gift of compassion and then continuously give it away to others.

11. Peace – let the soft flowing water of peace buoy your life. Regardless of what happens, and many things will intrude upon your peace, quickly restore your calm with the gift of peace.

12. Love – love you! Love every piece of you; love your mind, heart, body, soul. Love you and all of the essence that composes this priceless pearl that you are. Love you in all of your uniqueness, there is nothing better than love.

  • Gifts (valleyroadrambler.wordpress.com)

A ‘glass’ filled with the right things

23 Nov

This is the season for ‘thanks and giving.” Be sure to check your glass of life. The quoted message below is a reminder that it is not about the glass or the waterline of your perspective, it is just as important to notice what your glass is full of.  Give thanks:

” It’s not just whether your glass is half-empty or half-full that matters.

You also have to be mindful of what you’re filling your glass with.

Be sure to fill it with those things that satisfy your soul: good friends and family to love, passions to pursue, dreams to fulfill, and charity for others.  Because the only situation more tragic than seeing your glass as half-empty, is filling your glass until it is overflowing, and then realizing that there’s nothing in it to satisfy your thirst for a meaningful life.” ~Marc and Angel Hack

Get Out the Box Cutter

19 Nov

“Life is like a 10-speed bike. Most of us have gears we never use.” ~Charles Schulz

Take a dare today; use one of your unused gears. Mentally, get on your 10-speed life bike and ride it to uncharted experiences today. Open up, abandon the boxed-in sense of duty, and feel the exhilaration of your new discoveries.  You may want to explore painting, drama, feng shui, woodworking, yoga,reading, photography…do anything you have never done before and let the excitement of this new learning seep deeply into your identity.

You are changed by this new gear experience in your life. This new speed choice that you have made is exhilarating, liberating, and exactly what you needed to do for yourself right now. You have made a significant breakthrough, regardless of what life gear you chose to experience or the level of challenge it might have posed for you—the  principal here is that you did something new that pushed old boundaries. You stepped outside of your box, now refuse to go back to its confines.

Get out the box cutter when you try to re-fit yourself back into your space of comfort and begin to box yourself back in. When the intensity of your exhilaration begins to fade, when you begin to fear what lies ahead of your new liberation, or when your friends and family re-buff your discovered greatness box cut any negativity, doubt, suspicion or fear that comes to the surface.

SAY: Get out the box cutter: (let this be one of your 2013 mantras)

  • When a snide remark is made about your new hair color or haircut
  • When your inner voice deceives you into thinking “that was silly.”
  • When someone fails to compliment what you have done
  • When others stare because you play hop-scotch on the sidewalk all by yourself
  • When you whistle a new tune you composed on the spot and others don’t whistle back
  • When you write your best prose that others haven’t seen yet
  • When water washes away your sandcastle

Get out the box cutter! You are ready for something new-you are equipped for something new. Today, you are in the right space and you have the right amount of time to create and experience something new. Today only you can invite a special moment into your life and one way to do that is to box cut anything that  limits you.

“There comes a special moment in everyone’s life; a moment for which that person was born. That special opportunity, when he seizes it, will fulfill his mission-a mission for which he is uniquely qualified. In that moment, he finds greatness. It is his finest hour.” ~Winston Churchill

Your finest hour is here. Right NOW! Seize it, embrace this special opportunity that is only, uniquely yours. Don’t wait, thinking you will have a better life gear to exercise at a better time; you DON’T at the present moment. Right now is the time to act with the willing abandon so vital to your special moment.

Most people, who will admit it, prefer the safety of small boxes. But, you must constantly box cut any limitation. Consciously begin to expand your worldview, expand your frames of reference. Allow fresh new possibilities to emerge, provide a healthy challenge to your life.

Relax and give up the comfort and safety of what you already know just for today and then another day and then another and expand your capacity for thinking, creativity, exploration and awareness. Begin to envision all the possibilities that are available to you, right now. Hold tight to your core values while at the same time opening your heart and mind to new ideas, feelings, and experiences.  Your own perspective will grow stronger when you look at things from different perspectives and you will discover a lifetime of magic.

Get out your box cutter and speed on to new life gears that excite and liberate the special, real you.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 2,858 other followers